Helping Your Marriage Survive Youth Sports

Marital bliss doesn’t just happen automatically — it comes from actively working at it. How do youth sports fit in with family life? They can be an important element in family growth and solidarity. Any time parents share significant experiences with their children, it can help build stronger family ties. Stronger bonds can be forged not only between parents and children but also between the parents themselves. However, youth sports can be a double-edged sword, affecting husband-wife relationships in a positive or a negative way. Couples need to be aware of this fact and to be prepared to counteract the potential pitfalls. When you become a youth sport parent, be aware of what is likely to be required and how much time and effort you are willing to devote.

Once involved in a program, you should also keep in mind that you can easily be seduced into more and more involvement. Before you know it, your responsibilities can snowball. Many families find that practices are held during the dinner hour and that their kitchen becomes a cafeteria with several shifts. The fun and togetherness of family meals can become a thing of the past. For most families, this is only a seasonal happening. But for families whose youngsters are heavily involved in sports, this becomes the normal pattern of living. Spouses and children can begin to feel neglected.

Here are some tips for dealing effectively with the special challenges of being youth sport husbands and wives:

• Find ways to spend adequate time with all your children, particularly those who are not involved in sports.
• Likewise, it is important for spouses to devote time to their own relationship. Private moments spent away from the children can serve to maintain and invigorate their marriage. Recreational pursuits for you and your spouse, an occasional weekend away by yourselves, dinners out, and a cultivation of interests you share in common can help maintain the sparkle in your marriage.
• All couples must continue to find ways to improve communication.
• Get into the habit of talking regularly about your thoughts and, especially, your feelings. As long as the lines of communication are kept open and problems openly discussed, your relationship with your loved ones can not only endure, but deepen.

Editor’s Note: This article is an excerpt from the booklet Sports and Your Child by Frank L. Smoll and Ronald E. Smith.